Having minor asthma attacks at work. My inhaler (something that starts with an X that I can't recall the name of at the moment) is running low. TDS walks in.
TDS: Oh no! Are you having heartburn?
Me: No. Just a little asthma attack.
TDS: I have my inhaler if you need it.
Me: Thanks. I've got mine, it's running low, but yeah I have that little blue one with the X.
TDS: yeah, I have the one I can't take and the other one.
Me: That's right. You can't have the Albuterol but you can have the blue one with the X.
TDS: No. I have the small one they gave me that I can't have and the other one that I can have.
Me: But you can have the blue one with the X.
TDS: No.
Me: I thought you couldn't have albuterol.
TDS: It makes my heart race, so I have the other one. The blue one with the X on it.
I throw my arms up in defeat.
All I know is breathing is good.
Dowd Mainpage
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Thursday, March 31, 2011
One Bedroom Jew Adjacent
It's no surprise to most followers that the Dowd Syndrome works in Visual Effects.
A controversy has arisen in a shot that the Dowd Syndrome worked on in which she digitally removed the words "Holy Bible" from a, wait for it, Holy Bible at the behest of the filmmakers. A co-worker spotted a story about this controversy and read it aloud to the studio. This is what followed:
Co-Worker: ...so that's why it screened with the words still on the book, the filmmakers changed the cut amid the controversy.
TDS: But I worked on that shot.
Me: Jesus killer.
Co-Worker: TDS, you godless heathen!
Other Co-Worker: But you're not Jewish. That's my people.
TDS: I lived in New York. So that's close enough.
One point: Dowd Syndrome.
Co-Worker gets up and walks over to me and says:
Co-Worker: One day I want to bring in a giant dry erase board in and try to explain to TDS the difference between causation and correlation.
Her back to us, headphones still on, wrapped in 2 jackets on a balmy 72 degree morning while working the entire time, TDS says:
TDS: There isn't any.
An obligatory moment of silence followed and TDS, fat and satiated on her indifference to our chicanery, kept working stoic and unwavering like a sweat-jacketed little Wednesday Addams.
Two points: Dowd Syndrome.
A controversy has arisen in a shot that the Dowd Syndrome worked on in which she digitally removed the words "Holy Bible" from a, wait for it, Holy Bible at the behest of the filmmakers. A co-worker spotted a story about this controversy and read it aloud to the studio. This is what followed:
Co-Worker: ...so that's why it screened with the words still on the book, the filmmakers changed the cut amid the controversy.
TDS: But I worked on that shot.
Me: Jesus killer.
Co-Worker: TDS, you godless heathen!
Other Co-Worker: But you're not Jewish. That's my people.
TDS: I lived in New York. So that's close enough.
One point: Dowd Syndrome.
Co-Worker gets up and walks over to me and says:
Co-Worker: One day I want to bring in a giant dry erase board in and try to explain to TDS the difference between causation and correlation.
Her back to us, headphones still on, wrapped in 2 jackets on a balmy 72 degree morning while working the entire time, TDS says:
TDS: There isn't any.
An obligatory moment of silence followed and TDS, fat and satiated on her indifference to our chicanery, kept working stoic and unwavering like a sweat-jacketed little Wednesday Addams.
Two points: Dowd Syndrome.
Friday, March 11, 2011
The World's Worst Prostitute
Was coming back from lunch with co-worker 1 yesterday and saw TDS walking toward the TDSmobile. It was too late for TDS to be going for lunch, so we assumed a sickness was afoot.
I pulled the car alongside and waited to get her nervous attention at the car following her in the parking lot.
TDS looked at me and I say, "How much?"
A momentarily furrowed brow is followed by, "Haha! I get it." She then twists her face into anguish and says, "I don't know."
Co-Worker 1 says, "You're the worst prostitute ever."
TDS answers, "I feel like I'm going to barf so I'm going home."
Yes, I agree: The worst prostitute ever.
I pulled the car alongside and waited to get her nervous attention at the car following her in the parking lot.
TDS looked at me and I say, "How much?"
A momentarily furrowed brow is followed by, "Haha! I get it." She then twists her face into anguish and says, "I don't know."
Co-Worker 1 says, "You're the worst prostitute ever."
TDS answers, "I feel like I'm going to barf so I'm going home."
Yes, I agree: The worst prostitute ever.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
St. Paddy's Day
It began with co-worker 1 and I discussing how an actor is becoming more and more like Bill Cosby every year, and devolved into both of us doing really poor bill cosby impressions... loudly.
TDS walks up to us while we're contorted into a number of mildly painful Bill Cosby poses and says rather triumphantly in her quiet, apologetic TDS voice: "That's Bill Cosby."
An awkward silence followed, but only briefly. Then co-worker 1, whose name is Paddy, began contorting even more grotesquely and resumed Cosbifying the room.
I, in my bad Bill Cosby said, "There's something wrong with Bill Paddy's spats-see..."
TDS, always either 2 hours ahead or 15 years behind the conversation said, "St. Patty's Day isn't until next week."
The Bills feel silent.
TDS walks up to us while we're contorted into a number of mildly painful Bill Cosby poses and says rather triumphantly in her quiet, apologetic TDS voice: "That's Bill Cosby."
An awkward silence followed, but only briefly. Then co-worker 1, whose name is Paddy, began contorting even more grotesquely and resumed Cosbifying the room.
I, in my bad Bill Cosby said, "There's something wrong with Bill Paddy's spats-see..."
TDS, always either 2 hours ahead or 15 years behind the conversation said, "St. Patty's Day isn't until next week."
The Bills feel silent.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Questionable Directions
TDS: A friend of mine is coming here for lunch and asked me if we're on the north or south side of the street, but I'm a girl, I know left and right.
Me: Okay but you see how that's really not precise?
TDS: Guys know directions, girls know left and right.
Me: But you know where that street is right?
TDS points behind her.
I point behind me, the other direction.
Me: Okay. This is a problem. But it's easily remedied. Stop thinking in "holding a compass" kind of directions and just think in a more vague sense. Do you know where we are?
TDS: Yes.
Me: Do you know where the Valley is?
TDS: Yes.
Me: Okay, that's north.
TDS: Yes.
Me: Do you know where Disneyland is?
TDS: Yes.
Me: Okay, that's South.
TDS: Yes.
Me: Are we on the side of the street that is nearer to Disneyland or the Valley?
TDS: When I come here I turn left.
Me: Yes, and you're heading West? But what if he's heading East?
Awkward pause.
TDS: Is that left or right?
This continued for another 20 minutes. Some tears were shed, some voices were raised, and 5 minutes devoted to the ocean being West and the desert being East (even if you couldn't see them), but in the long run, the friend got here, and he came from two blocks South and less than a mile West. They're at lunch right now. I forgot to ask if she ever gave him NSEW directions.
Me: Okay but you see how that's really not precise?
TDS: Guys know directions, girls know left and right.
Me: But you know where that street is right?
TDS points behind her.
I point behind me, the other direction.
Me: Okay. This is a problem. But it's easily remedied. Stop thinking in "holding a compass" kind of directions and just think in a more vague sense. Do you know where we are?
TDS: Yes.
Me: Do you know where the Valley is?
TDS: Yes.
Me: Okay, that's north.
TDS: Yes.
Me: Do you know where Disneyland is?
TDS: Yes.
Me: Okay, that's South.
TDS: Yes.
Me: Are we on the side of the street that is nearer to Disneyland or the Valley?
TDS: When I come here I turn left.
Me: Yes, and you're heading West? But what if he's heading East?
Awkward pause.
TDS: Is that left or right?
This continued for another 20 minutes. Some tears were shed, some voices were raised, and 5 minutes devoted to the ocean being West and the desert being East (even if you couldn't see them), but in the long run, the friend got here, and he came from two blocks South and less than a mile West. They're at lunch right now. I forgot to ask if she ever gave him NSEW directions.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Happy Birthday, TDS!
All: Happy Birthday!
TDS: Oh! Today is my aunt's birthday, too. Her name is Jeannie. And when I was a kid, I thought she was a genie.
All: ......
TDS: Because her name was Jeannie. And she had blonde hair. And she looked like Barbara Eden.
Me: Did she live in a bottle?
TDS: No! I don't know.
TDS: Oh! Today is my aunt's birthday, too. Her name is Jeannie. And when I was a kid, I thought she was a genie.
All: ......
TDS: Because her name was Jeannie. And she had blonde hair. And she looked like Barbara Eden.
Me: Did she live in a bottle?
TDS: No! I don't know.
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